Welcome to Feathered Clans, a Warrior Cat rpg.
We are currently- Open and
accepting bios. Guests are encouraged to join
and help create a character of their own.
We have a unique plot that includes everyone
so you can all have fun. We are also creating
the next plot and I encourage you to take a look at it
in the 'Plot' board. Oh yeah, I would also like to
say Happy Birthday to the site! Finally one
year old!
Our Plot
EclipseClan thinks they're on top of the world...
Little do they know that their downfall is being
plotted by the cat you would least expect-
their old leader. She is forming a group of close
friends and is soon going to confront the clans,
and get them to stand up for their rights.
They must rebel against the dark EclipseClan cats,
and take back whats theirs.
Joined: May 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 699 Karma: 13
Practice for Sunstar « Thread Started on Jun 1, 2009, 6:42pm »
(Just so you can improve your posting. Make up a character or whatever you want.)
Tigerpounce was lying in the warriors den, surrounded by soft moss and feathers she had used to rim her nest. A particularly long black feather from a magpie she had caught yesterday shifted and brushed her nose, causing her to wake up and blink in confusion. Where was that mouse she had been chasing- and why was she in the warriors den? After a moment she woke up enough to realize that she had been dreaming. "Oh..." she murmured sleepily and let out a long yawn- showing her sharp white fangs.
Deciding to get up and get something done she stretched her back and legs, which had been quite stiff. Her yellow eyes were bright with excitement for the new day. Or not so new day- since the sun had risen high in the sky. She licked some of the ginger fur that was sticking up on her side and emerged into the clearing. Breathing in a deep breath of green-leaf air she looked around for someone to talk to.
Joined: May 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 203 Karma: -1
Re: Practice for Sunstar « Reply #1 on Jun 2, 2009, 8:07am »
Pancaketoes walked out and greeted tigerpunce. "Good morning. I still do not know what a pancake is or why my mother chose to name me that. He walked to the fresh kill pile and pulled out a vole. He sat down and began to eat pondering this. HE was quite happy about the day and couldn't wait for the patrol,
Joined: May 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 699 Karma: 13
Re: Practice for Sunstar « Reply #2 on Jun 2, 2009, 6:12pm »
(First pointer, spell the names right and capitalize them. You can add some more details to make it longer too. And this is supposed to be practice for real rp, so a real cat should be roleplayed and nothing completely out of the ordinary should happen. I'll put somethings you were missing in your post in mine. They will be underlined.)
Tigerpounce decided to get some breakfast, like a fellow warrior was doing. She padded softly over the dark earth to the freshkill pile. Picking out a plump looking shrew she carried it over to a patch of shade under some ferns, their long leafy fronds brushing her ginger striped pelt. She settled down under their shade and enjoied her shrew. Its fresh forest taste made her mouth water. When she had finished gulping it down she sat up and licked the last bit of taste off her lips.
She flitted back across the clearing to where (Pancaketoes?) was sitting. "So, hey you want to go hunting later?" she mewed in a friendly tone, her amber eyes glowing witha soft light. She shifted awkwardly and put on a nice smile.
Joined: May 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 203 Karma: -1
Re: Practice for Sunstar « Reply #3 on Jun 2, 2009, 7:57pm »
"Sure, I would love that, he said, his blue eyes glowing with plesure. "We can go now if you want". he said as he stood up and started walking toward the entrance to the camp. it was a shady tunnel of greenery as was the camp. The queens and elders den were covered by EXTREMELY dense brambles with 1 entrace and exit. The leaders den was an old badger set, the warriors den was a large bush and the medicine cats den was in a cool tunnel and bushes. The bushes were juniper so there was always a good supply.
Joined: May 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 699 Karma: 13
Re: Practice for Sunstar « Reply #4 on Jun 14, 2009, 12:58pm »
(Don't forget to finish your quotation. You forget the " mark on the first part. Pleasure is spelled wrong, use spell check! Start sentences with a capital. The sentences- he said as he stood up and started walking toward the entrance to the camp. it was a shady tunnel of greenery as was the camp.- are a little weird because you use the word camp twice in a short amount of time. Don't use 1 instead of 'One' write your numbers out. Last, you described the camp while he was leaving. I could understand if you said he was looking around the camp, but he was walking out the entrance. If anything he could describe the entrance and what the forest looked like beyond it. Other than that, a good improvement.)
Tigerpounce nodded and smiled as she followed Pancaketoes out of the camp. A warm breeze laden with the scent of greenleaf danced by, making her all the more eager to be out running around. She twitched her whiskers happily as she sniffed at the fresh air. Her tail also twitched in anticipation as she waited for her clanmate to decide where to hunt. She turned her head slowly, drinking in all the beauty of the forest. The trees' wide trunks formed a maze that seemed to stretch on forever, old leaves thickly coated the forest floor while small green plants poked up through the brown litter. The forest canopy was a marvelous thick green cloud suspended above, thousands of leaves rustling in the slight breeze. Golden sunlight poured in through gaps, illuminating the ground below. She sighed happily and looked back at the camp, knowing this was her only home.
(That whole post and she didn't even say anything. All you have to do is add details and thoughts to make a post longer and more interesting.)
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